How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
