Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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