Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize