You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
