where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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