Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
