Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
