Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
