She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
