The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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