the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
