she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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