yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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