the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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