so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
