Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
