any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
