This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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