based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
