don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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