Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
