My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So vagazzling was a success
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