Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
