Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
