I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
