I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
