So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
