Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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