I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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