my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
