Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
