My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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