I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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