I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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