friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
