I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
