Church boner. Awkwardddd
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
