So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
