i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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