Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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