Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
