Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
