i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
