Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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