Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
