I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
