Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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