i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
