Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
