I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
